Category Archives: Living Life

Why I Hired a Coach

 

I haven’t been posting a lot lately. In January, I decided to go on a 6-month journey of self care. There is always so much going on around us, many of us don’t ever put ourselves first.  I am not convinced that we even know what putting ourselves first really means. For me, it was about my health. I have a thyroid condition and while it is something I can manage, I want to heal my body rather than manage it.

This meant changing my diet and starting to look at my health in a completely different way. I did this for 3 months with the help of good smart friends and my doctor.  But it wasn’t getting me as far as I wanted, so I made some changes and additions to my health team. I hired a coach to help me understand what is going on with my body in a way that I can’t know all on my own–someone who will help me manage challenges that have been binding me much of my life and dragging down my health.

Even the coach needs a coach. Everyone needs help sometimes, and sometimes the help you need is bigger than your circle. Our society values independence and self-reliance, and those are amazing skills which we work toward from toddler- thru adulthood. We push boundaries, try to walk on our own, and show frustration when we can’t do something we want to do on our own. It is a normal healthy part of life, but sometimes, in being independent and self-reliant, we forget that it is ok to need the help of others.

For many of us asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world. We often falsely believe that this makes us weak. That isn’t true: It is a sign of strength to ask for help when you need it.  It is sometimes easier and better to ask for help from someone outside of our circle.  There are reasons that sometimes we need a professional to help us.  This was true for me and it is why I hired a coach.

My coach has a big job. It isn’t because I am a bad client, it is because of how important this change is for me and I am not willing to settle. I am not going to pretend that things are working for me when they aren’t and I want to see real change.  Changing your mind and your behavior is tough, and having the support of a trained professional is often needed.  Someone said to me yesterday, “I hope it works.”  My response was, “It will.”  Why? Because it is time. The switch in my brain and body that said real change is necessary finally went off in a way I could hear it and respond.

Has your switch gone off? Are you looking for help in doing something you can’t seem to do on your own or within your circle of friends and loved ones? Maybe it is time to hire a coach.  I have three coaching loves. I started as a leadership coach, and I love helping people be better leaders within their organizations.  I coach the terminally ill to find peace, joy, and happiness at the end of life. There is no greater honor than aiding in someone’s final transition. My third coaching love is helping people find and listen to their inner voice again, and believe their own intuition.  It is so easy in to stop listening to our inner voice–not the one driven by ego and fear, but the one that knows what is right for us and will lead us to exactly what we need, if we are brave enough to let the voice be heard.

If you want help moving forward, get in touch with me. I would be grateful and honored to help you move forward.

Wishing you peace and joy,

Jackie

Find Your Voice!

 

Know how to tell loved ones what you wantWhen you lose your voice, you are unable to say what you want.  It means that others make decisions for you, and you may be left without what you want.  When you are dying, a lot of your strength goes toward maintaining your energy and life.  You will do other things. You will go to the doctors. You will see people you love.  You will take care of the “to dos.”

But will you use your energy to find your voice?

You will have a lot of quiet time, and in that quiet time you will do a lot of thinking. Thinking about your life. Thinking about your relationships. Thinking about any regrets you have. Thinking about what you want to do with the rest of your life.  You will think about death, specifically — your death.  You will likely have hopes for what you want at the time of your death.  You might even make some decisions about what you want at that moment and in the moments leading up to your crossing over.

You may decide you want to die at home.  You may decide you want to stop your treatments because they are making you feel sicker and you want to enjoy your time. You may decide you don’t want to die alone—you want your loved ones there. There are lots of decisions you may make in this quiet time.  These decisions are yours.  It is your right. It is your life.

Now is the time to find your voice. 

Until you share these decisions, they live only in you.  You cannot ensure your wishes will come true until you voice what you want. You have to tell people what you want and what you don’t want.

Make your voice heard.

Consider Jerika Bolen’s example. A 14-year-old girl with Type 2 Spinal Muscular Atrophy, she used her voice to say she is ready to let go of the pain she feels every day. In a recent interview, Jerika said “I was ready a long time ago, but I kept going. After that surgery — it didn’t work and my pain got worse — I kind of sat down and thought, ‘Am I doing this for me or for my family?’ I kind of realized I was doing it for my family.”  Jerika found her voice.  She stopped doing what everyone wanted her to do, and started making decisions and sharing those decisions with those who loved her and could help her make what she wants a reality (Read more about her story here http://www.wusa9.com/news/girl-14-with-incurable-disease-makes-heartbreaking-decision-to-die-1/274264618.)

Your voice allows others to know that you have made decisions. Finding your voice may not be easy, but it is your life and your death.  According to Jerika, “there is a peace in being able to confront the inevitable on her own terms.”  You don’t have to make Jerika’s decisions, but give your voice to what you do want and find your peace.  Once you have made some decisions about what you want at the end of your life, you can find your voice. Share your wishes with your loved ones, and move forward to make your wishes your reality.  That is what is important.

Find your Voice

 

If you need some help in figuring all this out and finding your path, please contact me Jackie@yourwellfinishedlife.com

Don’t Forget the Fun

How do you spend your time? Are you spending it resting, doing things you must to do, and going to and from the doctors. Where’s the fun? What brings you joy?

find-joyYou are still living, so why not live your best life? Have as much fun and joy as you can stand. When you reach a point when you can’t do what you want, don’t you want amazing memories of love, fun, and joy to carry you through? The memories that will make you happy are likely to be the ones of going to the doctors, cleaning the house, and doing errands. I would expect that the memories you will treasure are the ones that bring you pleasure. So, don’t you want more of those than of the ones that don’t?

Don’t forget in the process of dying, you are still living. Find the joy! Do what makes you happy! Stop worrying about doing things that don’t really matter! At this point in your life, the most important things are those that make you happy. Enjoy this time.

Wishing you joy, love, and peace

Jackie

If you need some help, please contact Jackie Brucker at Jackie@yourwellfinishedlife.com for coaching.

Day 10 of Joy

Today is the last post in our 10 day series. It’s New Year’s Eve! Today’s joy post could only be about finding joy in new beginnings. A new beginning doesn’t have to happen when the calendar tells us there is a momentous event, such as a birthday, new year, or even a new month.

Every day is a new beginning with the possibility of finding joy! .

Resolutions fail often because they are too large a goal and something that is hard to maintain. What if your resolution for 2015 was to find joy in every day. Each day you have the opportunity to start over and find a new joy. How much happier would your life be if you found something joyful in each and every day? I challenge you to try and find out!

Keep finding your joy and never give up. If you fail one day, remember, tomorrow is a new beginning.

Finding Joy!

Day 9 of Joy

While spending some time outside, I heard the song of a lovely bird and saw beautiful flowers growing in the cold weather. There is so much beauty and joy in nature, if we just look and listen around us. I often miss the beauty around me. The cars on the road mute the song of the birds. I spend more time inside than I should, and I miss the blooming flowers and beautiful trees. So, I have been spending a bit more time looking for the joy in nature, and finding it. Can you spend some time and enjoy the nature around you?

Finding Joy

Day of Joy 8

I find a lot of comfort and joy in the quiet of the morning. While I don’t love getting up, I do love being outside walking my dog in the morning. It is quiet (usually) and I can just be present in the moment walking around with her. Weekend or work at home mornings are the best. There is no pressure to move faster or worry about the time we spend outside. These aren’t long walks, but they bring me the joy of being present in the quiet morning. I hope you find some joy in nature today!

Day 7 of Joy

Merry Christmas! For those, who celebrate Christmas, this is a day often spent with family and friends. Joy should be abundant, because we we take the time to be with the ones we love. We make an extra effort to be nice to one another, we show more compassion than normal, and we try to enjoy our time together. Normally, each of us gets lost in our every day lives. We are often too busy to connect in a real and meaningful way. On this holiday, be joyful of the time you spend with those you care about. This connection and making meaningful memories is the real joy of the holiday season.

Find your joy today!

Day 6 of Joy

The gift of time. At this time of year, many of us have time off from our jobs. Some of us travel to spend time with friends and family, and some use the time to enjoy the season. I find joy in the freedom that my vacation provides. I am not on a schedule which dictates when I get up, where I go, and when to go to sleep. I can allow myself the freedom to use the time as I wish, and this brings me great joy. I love this freedom of time, and hope to use this time to form new habits that bring me joy throughout the year.

Where are you finding our joy today?

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Day 5 of Joy

I discovered joy in an unusual place today, although it really is all about perspective. I belong to a networking group for women entrepreneurs, and today was one of our regular meetings. I am not always motivated to get to the meetings, but I always leave feeling more knowledgeable than when I got there. This diverse group of women are so smart, savvy, and interesting. It is an amazing experience to be surrounded by so many of them all in one place (and virtually through our online group). I could say they are inspiring, but it is really more than that. You can see the friendships, camaraderie, and the absolute willingness to help others succeed. If that isn’t joyful, then what is? I get to be part of this group, and I couldn’t ask for a better! Thanks Femworking Ladies.

Find your joy!

Day 4 of Joy

Today’s Joy post was going to be about the joy of giving, but I have gotten so many unexpected gifts today (and this week) that I have switched it up to be a post about the joy of receiving. Not the material part of getting presents, but the joy that comes from unexpected surprises. I could be embarrassed to have been caught off guard by these gifts, but instead I feel so incredibly lucky and grateful. These individuals brought me so much joy by their gifts. Not for what they are materially (although I do love them), but how they took the time and effort to show me that they cared. How lucky I am to have so many friends, and such unexpected joy.

Find your joy!

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